Poetry Contest

SME Maricopa's Poetry Contest

SME Marciopa celebrates creativity within our industry through our local Section limerick contest, founded by past member, Fred Brost.

Are you a poet? Here are the entry rules:

1.    Must be related to mining, metallurgy, or exploration
2.    Must be original (or nearly so)
3.    Must be in the limerick poetic form
4.    Must be suitable for mixed audiences

The poet with the best (or least lousy) limerick at each meeting will have a chance to win fame and fabulous prize at the end of our season in May. Miner poets should be prepared to recite their own works at meetings so that they can be properly acknowledged.

2019–2020 Limericks

Fifty Percent More Space Required, by Nicolette Taylor, 16 April 2020
To work underground we travel by cage
But now miners see a turn of the page
With no existing vaccines,
We can’t pack in like sardines
And curtains in the cage are now all the rage

Untitled, by Sydney Hay, 13 April 2020
I think it’s totally thrilling
Miners should get top billing
All things bacterial
Plus viral material
On contact copper is killing.

Untitled, by Sydney Hay, 20 March 2020
It doesn’t have to be witty
It’s an itty-bitty ditty:
“Copper’s essential
For things consequential
And isn’t it nice copper’s pretty?”

The World Still Needs Mining, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 March 2020
Mining may see some disruption
From this daunting viral eruption
But at the core
We all want ore
NOT a stone age induction

Untitled by Robert Livermore, 19 March 2020
Although times may seem hectic,
During this viral pandemic.
If the truth be told,
The price of gold -
May have a surprising uptick.

Ode to Health and Safety, by Anonymous Author, 19 March 2020
the world is abuzz about distance
from miners they'll hear no resistance
for we already stay
fifteen feet away
from all trucks, at the PM's insistence

Name of the Game, by Danielle Taran, 20 February 2019
Safety is the name of the game
Incidents will get you the wrong kind of fame
MSHA training can make you snore
site specific can be a bore
but I promise you'll end up in less pain

Protect your Noodle, by Danielle Taran, 20 February 2019
Sometimes safety can feel like a chore
Sometimes you forget your hard hat when walking out the door
But falling objects can be brutal
if you don't protect your noodle
so PPE isn't something you shouldn't ignore

Ode to the Molly Marie Prospect, by Nicolette Taylor, 20 February 2020
In the desert, a prospector made claim
The missing mining district was no game
Behind the great mystery
Was a trail of history
Leading to an ore deposit of fame

Do Not Enter, by Nicolette Taylor, 16 January 2020
When adventure is something you adore,
Empty drifts can sound fun to explore
But abandoned mines
Are not for good times
Stay out if you don’t wish to be done for

The SME, by Ellen Hodos, 21 November 2019
Everyone comes to the meeting,
And receives a free drinks as a greeting.
If the speaker is boring,
Some are soon snoring,
While the remainder keep quietly eating.

Crushing a Can, by Allan Schappert, 21 November 2019
If you want to balance on top of a pop can
Come see Adam at Restruction, he's your man
I tried to do it too
With some paper and glue
And I came crashing down right on my... hand

A Seasonal Message, by Allan Schappert, 21 November 2019
If you're a turkey it's too late to hide
And soon St. Nick will take his ride
A wish for all
To beckon my call
And keep everyone's safety in mind.

No Need for Repair Despair, by Nicolette Taylor, 21 November 2019
When concrete or steel need some repair
It can feel like a messy affair
Don’t lose production
Just call Restruction
They’ll give your site love and due care

Miner Named Crank, by Henry Cook, 17 October 2019
There was an old miner named "Crank"
His treasure he hid under a plank
While he was away
Much to his dismay
A young child hauled it off as a prank

The Never-Ending Planning Phase, by Nicolette Taylor, 17 October 2019
Two owners shared a mine project fifty-fifty
But something about their plan seemed pretty shifty
They put progress on hold
To rehash studies of old
And spent millions in rework trying to be thrifty

It’s not Pickle Rick it’s Limerick! by Joe Keffer, 19 September 2019
In-situ leaching is quite profound
PLS comes without disturbing the ground
Raff goes through wells
Where the copper dwells
In hopes to make copper by the pound.

Ode to In-Situ Recovery, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 September 2019
A chemist went to play in a well field
And learned that something was concealed
Metals like gold
Were there to be sold
But only if leaching could be unreeled

A Door Prize Treasure, by Dave Wahl, 16 May 2019
It's not really a test
But you should give it your best
Writing a rhyme
Can make the cash register chime
If you are drawn for the Fred Brost treasure chest.

2018–2019 Limericks

***SPRING 2019 WINNERS***
Thank you to Ninyo & Moore for sponsoring this season!

FIRST PLACE
The Lone Star Deposit, by Dave Wahl, 21 March 2019
Lone Star mineralization is quite vast
It is a project with a long storied past
And early in its discovery
Owners pondered in-situ recovery
Aided by fracking via a huge nuclear blast

SECOND PLACE
Diggin’ It, by Tim Marsh, 26 April 2018
When their engines fall silent, not roaring
And wake up from their navel adoring,
Perhaps then the greens
Will concede that their means
Come from miners like us and our coring.

THIRD PLACE
Untitled, by Ellen Hodos, 18 April 2019
There was a geo who went to Alaska.
If you don't believe me just ask her.
It did nothing but rain
Which was kind of a pain
But she got all the gold she was after.
***

Tenke in the DRC, by Robert Livermore, 18 April 2019
The Tenke Mine in the DRC,
Is spectacular for a geologist to see.
Within synclines and bounded faults,
One finds massive copper and cobalt's
Making investors chuckle with glee.

Name it and Claim it, by Henry Cook, 18 April 2019
There was an old miner named James,
Who decided to stake some new claims,
To the Congo he went,
For high metal content,
Cobalt 'n' Copper were their beautiful names.

To Fight or Not, by Henry Cook, 18 April 2019
The miner called the geo, "no guts,"
Geo told the miner, "you're a klutz,"
They glared straight ahead
Then together they said,
"Forget all that, let's eat the donuts!"

Write Poems, by Henry Cook, 18 April 2019
Write poems for good ole SME,
At monthly meetings, you'll hear such a plea,
You mustn't be shy
You won't actually die,
Remember the reward is fame and glory!

Untitled, by Bernie Stannus, 18 April 2019
There was a young man underground
Whose lunchbox couldn't be found
When finally they did,
And they opened the lid
He was a very keen thieving Rockhound

Untitled, by Bernie Stannus, 18 April 2019
There was a young geo named Dan
Who always came up with a plan
When he got in a squeeze,
They replaced his knees
So instead of walking he ran

Untitled, by Bernie Stannus, 18 April 2019
There was a good geo named Nyal
Who practiced his craft with with a smile.
He could bang on a rock,
Take notes and talk
While sharpening his ax with a file.

Untitled, by Bernie Stannus, 18 April 2019
There was an old miner named Bernie
Who fell asleep on a gurney
He woke with a curse
Inside a hearse
And that was the end of his journey

Untitled, by Ellen Hodos, 18 April 2019
There was a geo who worked in the Wrangell's.
He looked at claim posts from all different angles.
On hillsides throughout barren
He spotted some cairns
And thus survey maps he untangled.

The Man with the Plan, by Allan Schappert, 18 April 2019
Our speaker tonight is a man named Shuai
CMOC is going underground, he’s here to tell us why
There’s ore under the pit,
More than just a bit
But it’s not going to be easy, and that ain’t no lie.

Underground is Worth the Flip, by Nicolette Taylor, 18 April 2019
Some deposits have a challenging dip
But Shuai is here to give you a tip
The method of mining
Can keep you from whining
When recovery on surface starts to slip

Hills into Holes, by Allan Schappert, 21 March 2019
It all starts with a deposit and a plan
To make it happen, takes the right man
He better get it right
the dirt will give a fight
And if he fails, the @#$& will hit the fan

Ode to Liberating Copper, by Nicolette Taylor, 21 March 2019
A miner wanted to leach some copper
So first he sent his ore through the hopper
Now crushed, it sat on the pad
But suddenly, he became sad
Because having no acid topper became a show stopper

Modern Marketing, by Dave Wahl, 21 February 2019
Before the invention of Wikimedia
Our best source of knowledge was the encyclopedia
Back then finding the truth
Was like pulling a tooth
But now all comes with ease via social media

No Swimming Creatures Allowed, by Nicolette Taylor, 21 February 2019
Underground, we don’t want to find water
The mine is not a playground for an otter
Design a good sump
And add in a pump
To prevent the otter from becoming a squatter

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 17 January 2019
Mining is entering the digital age,
A far cry from canaries in a cage
From field tablets to mobile phones,
Now LiDAR and multifunctional drones.
These are becoming the new rage,
So reach out to CEC during any project stage.

Tonight's Talk, by Allan Schappert, 17 January 2019
If you stay after dinner, you'll hear about LiDAR
Or you could slip out quietly for a drink at the bar
But hang here with me
And listen to CEC
Which will be much more informative, by far.

Innovation Contemplation, by Nicolette Taylor, 17 January 2019
Humans are limited by biology
Which is why we like help from technology
Underground remote sensing
Is well worth commencing
To cast manual survey into mythology

Untitled, by David Bardsley, 15 November 2018
Dealing with the public can be a pain
It can feel like you've been hit by a train
Our speaker tonight
Will tell us how to deal with the fright
And keep us from getting a migraine

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 15 November 2018
The geologist Watson looked in shock,
at a shiny piece of rock.
And as he surmised...
To the engineer's surprise
"That's no schist Sherlock!"

Ode to Social License, by Nicolette Taylor, 15 November 2018
We have a plan to get ore from the mine
And economically, it sounds just fine
But if there is protest
or public unrest
Call Adam Hawkins to walk the line

Zeolites and the Bowie Chabazite Deposit, by Daniel T Eyde, 18 October 2018
There once was a zeolite named Chab.
It thought its future was in Rad.
It traveled in steel vessels,
In which the cesium nestled,
And it loved making Bowie seem fab!

A Better Target, by Dave Wahl, 18 October 2018
If your mine plays aren't right
And you can't sleep at night
Stop spinning your pedals
In the quest for bright metals
Just wise up and search for a zeolite

Don't Eat the Stuff, by Allan Schappert, 18 October 2018
In Australia they mine for zeolite
And eat their crackers with vegemite
They can be bold down under
But it makes you wonder
If switching the two would be alright

Exploration Consolation, by Nicolette Taylor, 18 October 2018
An explorer searched for zeolite
But in this field was a neophyte
With no minerals found
To the pub he was bound
Where whiskey consoled him through the night

Cobalt Blues, by Robert Livermore, 20 September 2018
Lately, Cobalt's been so Fab,
An arsenide ore... that's a little Rad.
But element 27
Was not brought from heaven
Twas George Brant who discovered it in his Lab.

It's Not Autumn Yet, by Nicolette Taylor, 20 September 2018
A millennial miner put the cart before the mule
And drank pumpkin spice lattes in summer like a fool
His silly obsession
Was met with aggression
The crew's endless berating was oh so cruel!

2017–2018 Limericks

***SPRING 2018 WINNERS***
Thank you to Ninyo & Moore for sponsoring this season!

FIRST PLACE
Municipal Tax Base, by Dave Wahl, 19 October 2017
When the town council makes a decision
We hope they can envision
That income from copper
Might be just as proper
As cash flow from a prison

SECOND PLACE
Untitled, by Sydney Hay, 15 March 2018
Said the miners girl, I must warn ya
"When prospecting in California
Better bring home some bling"
So he bought her a ring
Too bad it was cubic zirconia

THIRD PLACE
The Sad Refusal, by Henry Cook, 15 February 2018
A foul old miner came callin'
For a pretty young lady he was fallin'
No said she
You are smelly!
So over the hills he went ballin'
***

Untitled, by Kent McGrew, 19 April 2018
I started mining with my dad
The results were never good
In fact they were always bad
If we worked like hell we made our beans
Needless to say, we were both pretty lean
Lunatic projects that were never pristine
I lost my ass three times by the time I was nineteen.

The Sleepy Metallurgist, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 April 2018
The metallurgist’s duty was to test
But truthfully he’d much rather rest
Napping on the job
Left results in a glob
His recovery forecast was far from best

Upgrading Your Discovery, by Dave Wahl, 19 April 2018
If your ore needs to leach
Proper testing is what you should preach
And if rock in the column
Yields gold in good volume
You may get paid time off at the beach

Down a Slippery Slope, by Dave Wahl, 19 April 2018
If you make the pit walls steep
More rock goes on the heap
But gravity can cut loose
And you'll be cooked like a goose
If you don't stop ground creep

Ride the Slide, by Nicolette Taylor, 15 March 2018
If you operate a large open pit
Know the ground where people and equipment sit
When rock begins to shift
Be prepared to move swift
In the event of a slide, you won’t have to quit

Down and Around to the Target, by Dave Wahl, 15 February 2018
If you're in the market for directed drilling
But want value in the billing
Have a good talk with Dave B.
And he'll work up a fee
That will get you back to chilling

How Mines do Valentines, by Terry Lee and Nicolette Taylor, 15 February 2018
There’s no flowers or chocolates deep in the mine
But our spirits are high and all is fine
We’ve finished working the seam
So our hearts and headlights beam
Tis time to tag-out and toast St. Valentine

Mine Power, by Allan Schappert, 18 January 2018
To run a mine we need power
It comes to us in lines on a tower
but this little mite
will make it on site
with enough left-over to head my shower

Untitled, by David Bardsley, 18 January 2018
Another new year is here
Things look good said a mining engineer
The need for drilling is higher
Many more rigs will be required
So let's toast with a cold glass of beer

Flu Season at the Mine, by Nicolette Taylor, 18 January 2018
A haul truck driver went to work with the flu.
But then he vomited in the Komatsu.
Sent home from the mine
Until he felt fine,
With no more nausea, he returned to his crew.

Nantucket, by Dave Wahl, 16 November 2017
There was a young geo from Nantucket.
Whose trick was to search the ore bucket.
He said with a grin
As he found only tin,
If this lump was a diamond, I would pluck it.

Development in Kosovo, by Nicolette Taylor, 16 November 2017
Kosovo is where the miners set their sight
Slivovo was the object of their excite
Ongoing exploration
And technical narration
Will bear gold and silver to reward their plight

Waste is a Terrible Thing to Mine, by Allan Schappert, 19 October 2017
Florence Copper plans to mine with a pump.
Well at least they won't have to haul to the dump.
They'll just suck out the ore.
And suck harder for more,
And leave all the waste behind in one big lump.

The Haunted Mine, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 October 2017
They all said the mine was haunted.
"I'm not scared! one miner flaunted.
Until one night in the adit,
a ghost let him have it!
He wet his diggers when spooked and taunted!

A New Mine? by Dave Wahl, 21 September 2017
The detractors call it big pollution
A sin with no chance of absolution
But the faithful still work today
And hope to make pay
By opening the grand mine Resolution

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 21 September 2017
Arizona's known as the Copper State,
As many of you can relate.
Resolution's mine is quite a "whopper"
And not much is going to stop her,
Only those who want to liti...gate.

Modern Copper Mining, by Dave Wahl, 18 May 2017
Copper mining in days of old
Always meant digging some kind of big hole
But now with weak acid injected
And so precisely directed
Dig-free copper is our to behold

Here is a peek at the beautiful engraved leather notebooks and custom base metal writing pens that were awarded to our 2017–2018 contest winners! Thank you Ninyo & Moore for these awesome prizes!

2016–2017 Limericks

2015–2016 Limericks

***SPRING 2017 WINNERS***
Thank you to Ninyo & Moore for sponsoring this season!

FIRST PLACE
A Miner's Mule, by Robert Livermore, 15 September 2016
My treasure's a mule in the mine,
And I drive her with only one line.
On the dashboard I sit
And tobacco I spit,
All over my sweetheart's behind!!!

SECOND PLACE
Graphene, by Dave Wahl, 17 November 2016
Life in the field can be mean
You don't often live like a queen
It's like digging a ditch
And only a few strike it rich
Will Stan's big bonanza be graphene?

THIRD PLACE
Untitled, by David Bardsley, 20 April 2017
Permitting a mine is a pain
Most say the process is completely insane
Local outreach is needed
Sustainability issues should be heeded
When successful you can pop the Champagne
*****

Mining in the New Millennium, by Dave Wahl, 20 April 2017
Several millennial geos, so young and so bold
Had making a mine their biggest life goal
But soon stopped by permits
They quit to be hermits
And just let their fine project fold

Yet Another Ode to Permitting, by Nicolette Taylor, 20 April 2017
The developer wanted to commit
He was ready to start with his drill bit
But there was no escape
From the red tape
He couldn’t touch ground without a permit

Don't Miss the Cage, by Nicolette Taylor, 16 March 2017
Underground miners can never be late
The man cage at site just doesn't wait
If you miss it, go home
You're no use on surface alone
Next time be early for a better fate!

Oh Patagonia, by Robert Livermore, 16 March 2017
The Patagonia District is where Westinghouse put his stamp,
With mines like Bonanza, Dusquesne, and Washington Camp.
Now the Hermosa Project is on the brink,
Adding new ores like lead, silver, and zinc.
The assays are looking most favorable,
To create a mine that will be scalable.
So after the drilling's all done-
And they determine the amount of tonnes,
Let's hope the permitting does favorable!!

Is there a New Kid in Town? (with apologies to the Eagles), by Dave Whal, 16 March 2017
In Arizona most people think
Its copper that buys us a drink
But if the drills keep on churning
and the investors stay yearning
our new friend may be zinc

Ode to a Missouri Miner, by David Bardsley, 16 March 2017
When founded it was the Missouri School of Mines
Then the chancellors started loosing their spines
They changed the name to UMR
Then Missouri S&T, what for?
They made it a school they couldn't define

Green Beer, by David Bardsley, 16 March 2017
Tomorrow we celebrate St. Patrick
Who chased the snakes from Ireland with a stick
In his honor we drink green beer
Raise a glass with good cheer
and hope for an exploration uptick

Leach Ore, by Dave Wahl, 16 February 2017
Finding soluble ore is a long reach
It's something that most schools don't teach
But joy will surely fade
And you'll never get paid
If that ore doesn't leach

A Hope for 2017, by David Bardsley, 19 January 2017
Into the new-year we bring
A different administration, not a new King
In charge are fresh guys
I hope they are wise
So mining can have an upswing

Oh, Lithium, by Mary Shewmaker, 19 January 2017
This alkali metal is shiny,
With the low atomic number three.
It floats atop oil
Is difficult to boil
And commonly found in batteries.

Lithium Demand, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 January 2017
A lithium miner pumps a lot of brine
And for electric cars that’s mighty-fine
New deposits found
Beneath the ground
Means Tesla Execs can stay on cloud nine

An Ode to Stanley B. Keith, by Dan Laux, 17 November 2016
While considered an industry whore
His insights are never a bore
Whether mantle versus crust
Or the Maricopa Thrust
His place is secure in GEO folklore

The Hopeful Pauper, by Nicolette Taylor, 17 November 2016
Out in the desert there lived a pauper
Until one day he discovered copper
His dreams grew big
Before even starting to dig
He was seeing ore flow through the hopper!

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 20 October 2016
A prospector made a statement quite bold,
"In them thar mountains is gold."
However, he was not quite right,
As it was only pyrite,
And realized---all that glitters is not gold!!!

Drones, by Dave Wahl, 20 October 2016
The investors sighed and let out a groan
They had to cut costs to the bone
With boots on the ground way expensive
They had to get pensive
So they went out and hired a drone

Untitled, by David Bardsley, 20 October 2016
A miner used to work on his own
Data he collected alone
Now he can reach to the sky
And he wonders why
His boss didn't give him a drone

General Election, by Nicolette Taylor, 20 October 2016
Trump claims our regulations are a disaster
With fewer for mining, we would see money faster
This election is touchy
Both candidates are fussy
But that narcissism won’t sway the broadcaster

Ode to Copper Fox, by Nicolette Taylor, 15 September 2016
A clever fox went in search of treasure
Copper exploration was his pleasure
He followed a hound
And found some good ground
Now he has more ore than he can measure!

Ode to a Directional Driller, by David Bardsley, 19 May 2016
We used to drill wells that were straight
If we met plumbness specs, that was great
We drill crooked wells now
Everyone asks us how
The answer - The bit slides it doesn't rotate.

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 19 May 2016
Some people say mining looks bleak,
But we're all attracted to its mystique.
Like finding a needle in hay,
We search for the next great play
While pounding our hammers on peaks!!

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 19 May 2016
A geologist name Bruno,
Said there is one thing I do know.
That copper is fine,
And silver is divine,
But gold is numero uno!

***SPRING 2016 WINNER***
Untitled, by Bruce and Pat McKinstry, 15 October 2015
A geologist in search of uranium,
Stumbled upon some titanium.
He had to confess
This caused him duress,
And totally addled his cranium.
*****

Announcing the Winner for this Season's Contest, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 May 2016
There's a miner poet here named Bruce
Whose way with words is quite profuse
Recite poems did he
For entertainment of thee
Alas! The grand prize he did produce!

Owed to Bureaucracy, by Bruce McKinstry, 21 April 2017
A geologist on an exploration trip
Made a beeline for the Arizona Strip
He arrived and found to his dismay
The desert invaded by the EPA
So his adventure brought nothing but hardship

Untitled, 21 April 2017
There once was a geologist named Tucker
Who worked as a sample logger
He dreamed of a life
Being private with his wife
As he tumbled downhill yelling mother f...

Mother’s Day Reminder for Miners, 21 April 2017
One miner always forgot a special day.
His Mother, quite scorned, wanted him to pay.
All his gold she stole and spent.
Didn’t leave him a single cent.
Lesson—don’t forget your mother this May!

Ode to an Irish Miner, by David Bardsley, 17 March 2017
There once was a miner from Limerick
Who worked with a shovel and pick
But on St. Patties Day
He drank all his money away
Wearing green and ending up sick

St. Patrick's Day Mining Limericks, by Allan Schappert, 17 March 2017
There was a leprechaun who wanted to be a miner
And truth be known, he was a wee bit of a whiner
For when he was told
He'd never find gold
He dug for potatoes instead and opened his own diner

It's St. Patrick's Day here at SME, 17 March 2017
But there's no corned beef or cabbage to see
The chef is not Irish
So if that was your wish
I'll ask for your forgiveness on one knee

St. Patrick's Day Mining Limerick, by Terry Lee, 17 March 2017
In Ireland the miners are few
In church they fill only one pew
It's not that they're crazy
Or a single bit lazy
Bu prefer sipping Tullamore Dew

Investor Depressed No More: an Ode to External Relations Strategy,
by Nicolette Taylor, 21 January 2016
There was a depressed mining investor
Who took himself into dark sequester
But a better social plan
Freed his projects from their jam
Alas! He could put down his Winchester

Ode to a Miner’s Odyssey, by Tim Casten, 19 November 2015
A wannabe cousin Jack
Ate pasties for a snack
Worked on the Chunnel
Worried it could be a funnel
And decided to take a different tack

A young miner was he
Came over the sea
In looking for ore
He found so much more
And started a new family tree

From the UK to the US
There was no duress
But conditions were strange
On the Carlin basin and range
And in the winter, what a mess

Then off to the depths of San Manuel
Felt like one step closer to hell
Going underground, there was no fear
And then going to the Wildcat House and drinking some beer
Life was swell and soon enough came the toll of a wedding bell

Off to Indonesia, mining gold and copper
Not easy to get to, often needed a chopper
With new wife in tow
There for five years or so
And along came two kids, which was an eye popper!

And then to the Big Easy they went
Working on the engineering, design and vent
Lived through Katrina
Never seen anything meaner
Complete destruction, seemed the intent

And then to the valley of the sun
For some more desert fun
Mine engineering and design
Trying to keep everything in line
25 years, like a half marathon!

Untitled, by Dan Goudeau, 19 November 2015
De Beers will be jealous cried the geo
You;ll see I'll soon be a hero
But when the model arrived
And our skills applied
The project turned out a zero!

Ambition for a Gem, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 November 2015
Born in June, Alexandrite is my stone.
As Queen, I would wear it upon my throne.
Wish I could own every mine.
A monopoly is fine.
Someday I will do this all on my own!

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 19 November 2015
As you know I was a Chairman here for a while,
But I passed the reins down to Nyal.
Though mining is down
No longer the Boomtown,
Let's hope it doesn't stay too immobile!!

Ode to Lois, a Tramp Miner's Wife, by Nicolette Taylor, 15 October 2015
I know an old-timer miner named Mel,
Who long ago wed an old-fashioned belle.
She still packs lunch in his tin,
Cuts his gray hair with a grin.
Lucky is he to be treated so well.

The Happily Retired Mule, by Nicolette Taylor, 17 September 2015
Down in a mine, a mule pulled a cart.
Nobody thought this mule could be smart.
He surprised the whole crew.
With one hoof he drew,
Rail haulage plans so state of the art!

2011–2012 Limericks

***Spring 2012 WINNER***
I Married a Miner, by Kris Laux, 19 April 2012
I married a miner
Life couldn't be much finer
But...I brought home the bacon
While he went out stakin'
Maps and data...data and maps
I'd come home from work...
What is all this crap
So we struggled and saved and argued a bit
While he worked in Miami in a big open pit
But thank God for our IRA, copper, silver and gold
And thank god for my husband thinking so bold
So I finally retired...but he'll never quit
Just ask him one day he'll have to admit
His life is a vacation you'll have to agree
If you have any questions ...just ask me

Ode to a Mexican Blaster, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 19 April 2012
A Mexican blaster named Palafox
Carried dynamite sticks in his lunch box.
Once in a hurry to eat-o,
He bit, he thought, a burrito.
Blew Palafox right out of his sox.

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 16 February 2012
On this past Valentine's Day,
To commemorate 25 years of marriage in some way.
The prospector's devoted wife,
Said "I would like a stone really hard and bright",
So he gave her a large piece of kimberlite.

Ode to a Shameless Promoter, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 16 February 2012
There once was a promoter named Carother,
Who sold worthless stock like no other.
When the mine turned out crappy.
Still Carother remained happy,
For he’d sold all his stock to his mother.

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 19 January 2012
There once was a man from Dundee,
Who thought staking claims was free.
Till he ran into an inspector,
Who gently ejected ‘em,
And charged him one heck of a fee.

Ode to a Late Metallurgist, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 19 January 2012
An Indian metallurgist from Bangalore,
Practices ore dressing no more.
To his eternal woe,
The glass marked H20,
Alas, contained H2SO4!

Untitled, by Wayne Fuller, 17 November 2011
You may think you don't like mining,
But you'd better stop all that whining.
With no metals nor coal,
You might as well live in a hole.
For the good things in life you'll be pining!

Ode to a Realistic Miner, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 17 November 2011
Ode to a Realistic Miner
Deep miners on the Witwatersrand
Are not a particularly fearless band.
For if the back falls on your head,
You're certainly just as dead,
At ten feet as at ten thousand!

Rain Forest Ramp, by Bruce McKinstry, 20 October 2011
We drove a ramp in the rain forest,
Through rock exceedingly porous.
The river rushed in,
The crew had to swim,
Now pumping is all that's before us

Ode to a Diligent Geologist, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 22 September 2011
Once a geologist bold,
Explored a mine he’d been sold;
After months of testing,
Smelling, even tasting;
Discovered the ore was guano, not gold.

Untitled, by Tony Rice, 22 September 2011
There was a geologist named Dave
Who dug himself a big cave
He said what the hell
I could drill an oil well
But searching for gold's what I crave.

2013–2014 Limericks

Ode to a Miner Laureate (A man of countless talents), by Dave Wahl, Spring 2013
There is a fine miner named Fred
Working so wise and well read
From the world's deepest hole
To the northland so cold
To keep his family well fed

Ode to a Solar Advocate (you had to be there), by Dave Wahl, Spring 2013
There is an old miner named Doug
Who commonly acts like a thug
Despite being so bold
He never finds gold
And now he needs a big hug

Ode to a Government Geologist (he really is here to help you), by Dave Wahl, Spring 2013
There was a young geo named Nyal
Who kept all his rocks in a pile
He scratched them for gold
Until he grew old
Now all we can do is just smile

Ode to Godbe Drilling, by your Poet Laureate
For good drilling a good driller is a must.
Good machines without a spot of rust.
Drill holes straight and true,
With good core recovery too.
Miners who know all say “in Godbe trust”!

Untitled, by Vivian Merrell
I met a man at a local diner,
Who said he wanted to be a miner,
Why would you want to do that?
Your so darn fat,
You’d be beter off as a Shriner.

Ode to a Poor Driller, by David Bardsley
I used to drill for silver and gold,
But exploration suddenly went cold.
So I tried something new,
Drilling in waste – PU!
But at least it keeps my rig bankrolled.

Where Are Those Good Ol’ Days?, by John Mastor
I knew of a geo from Manila,
Whose deposit was really a thriller!
Not gold as we thought it,
It turned out to be salted.
These 43-101 rules are a killer!

In Borneo the core looked great, no pretext.
The stock soared, how could it get complex?
70 million ounces; that’s right!
Nothing there; not even pyrite!
Now we jump through hoops thanks to Bre-X.

Now-a-days there must be a Qualified Person
Them good old days – they’ve started to worsen.
Everything in the open – sweet as honey!
Investors confident – to give us their money.
Those great old days, wish I and another – just one

Untitled, by David Bardsley , 17 October 2013
A miner from Phoenix was told,
In the Superstitions there was lots of gold.
For the Lost Dutchman he did look,
But he should have read a book,
For the Dutchman was a lie that was bold.

The Rock Chick, by Ena Wilson
A chick with a pick went a hounding,
To find some cool rocks don’ you know,
But the pick it was dulled,
And the chick was appalled,
No rocks she was sadly a founding.

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 21 November 2013
There once was a man from Dundee,
Who thought staking claims was free.
Till he was tracked down by the BLM,
Which immediately rejected them,
Then charged him one heck of a fee!

Ode to My Alma Matter, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost) 19 September 2013
I went to Missouri School of Mines,
To learn about mine and mill designs.
But I learned about whiskey,
And mixed drinks quite risky,
Plus beer and fine Missouri moonshines.

Ode to an Optimistic Miner, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 17 October 2013
The ore shipped was guaranteed high grade.
The owner knew a fortune would be made.
But the result wasn’t funny,
He owed the smelter money,
When freight, fees and deductions were paid!

Ode to Employment Alternatives, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 21 November 2013
Joe, an underground geologist,
Lamented adventures he’d missed.
“Sampling mines is OK for me,
But what I really yearn to be,
Is a colorectal proctologist!”

Ode to Permitting, by your Poet Laureate (with a tip of the poets hardhat to Rosemont Mining), 16 January 2014
The mine needed a complex permit.
Regulatory demands just wouldn’t quit.
The owner gave them a lot,
And said, “that’s all I’ve got”.
“You’ve got enough paper to fill the pit.”

Ode to a hopeful prospector, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 20 February 2014
There was an old prospector named Clyde
Who found a gold vein up near Chloride
The ore assayed high grade,
Clyde knew he had it made,
But the vein was just two inches wide.

Ode to a Modeler, by Allan Schappert
The hillside glittered like gold,
But it’s only pyrite he was told.
He went for the kill,
And brought in a drill,
In the hopes that the claims could be sold.

Now the buyer was really quite smart,
He found a modeler to perform his art.
Looking at the data he found,
That the rocks underground
Weren’t worth a popcorn fart!

So there’s a lesson to be learned,
When there’s money to be lost or earned.
You gotta look at the data,
To see what could be the matta,
Until all your assumptions are confirmed!

Untitled, by Trish Fairchild
There was a blind geologist named Dick,
Who could name any rock with a single lick.
One day in the field his tongue got stuck.
Everyone said he was shit out of luck,
For licking the wrong end of his pick!

Untitled, by David Bardsley, 20 February 2014
My ancestors were miners from Wales
Who sailed to America through gales.
They came to mine coal,
But even though that was their goal,
They ended up drinking pale ale.

Top Secret Travelin’ Hammer, by Ena Lynne Wilson
I have a rock hammer, will travel –
To locales most secret and dear.
I’ll swing with a clang!
My hammer goes bang!
(But only when no one is near.)

The Gal from Morenci, by Ena Lynne Wilson
There once was a gal from Morenci.
Her tamales were served with an egg.
The dudes at the mine,
All thought she was fine,
Specially a feller named Craig!

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 20 February 2014
There once was a geologist down in OZ,
Who saw a feature that made him pause.
A brecciated fault neither normal nor reverse,
And so complex that it made him curse,
So he never figured out what it was!

Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 20 March 2014
There once was a mining engineer named Fred,
Who quoted poets – mostly now dead.
His repertoire is diverse,
Containing nothing perverse,
But he has a fetish with large ore beds.

So-called License? By John Mastor, 20 March 2014
A new mine called Rosemont
Experienced crew, not debutant.
Some locals taking issue,
With grief, angst and tissue.
Many petty complaints, do Augusta haunt!

A New Suitor, by John Mastor, 20 March 2014
A mine near Tucson, south a way,
May have new owners they say – Eh?
They propose a payout,
For investors a way out,
Have sunscreen those from HudBay?

Left Behind, by John Mastor, 20 March 2014
Florence Copper is in a good space,
Leave the rock, mine not a trace.
With solution mild as vinegar,
Jobs – n – dollars make it a win-agar.
Florence: it’s yours after mending the place.

Deep Mines, by John Mastor, 20 March 2014
A deep mine named Resolution,
Proposes for its solution,
Their land-hold superior,
The Park acres inferior.
A Congressional Act, the only resolution