SME Maricopa's Poetry Contest
Are you a poet? Member Fred Brost founded our local poetry contest. Here are the entry rules:
1. Must be related to mining, metallurgy, or exploration
2. Must be original (or nearly so)
3. Must be in the limerick poetic form
4. Must be suitable for mixed audiences
The poet with the best (or least lousy) limerick at each meeting will have a chance to win the grand prize. Miner poets should be prepared to recite their own works at meetings so that they can be properly acknowledged.
1. Must be related to mining, metallurgy, or exploration
2. Must be original (or nearly so)
3. Must be in the limerick poetic form
4. Must be suitable for mixed audiences
The poet with the best (or least lousy) limerick at each meeting will have a chance to win the grand prize. Miner poets should be prepared to recite their own works at meetings so that they can be properly acknowledged.
2017–2018 Limericks
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***SPRING 2017 WINNERS***
Thank you to Ninyo & Moore for sponsoring this season! FIRST PLACE Municipal Tax Base, by Dave Wahl, 19 October 2017 When the town council makes a decision We hope they can envision That income from copper Might be just as proper As cash flow from a prison SECOND PLACE Untitled, by Sydney Hay, 15 March 2018 Said the miners girl, I must warn ya "When prospecting in California Better bring home some bling" So he bought her a ring Too bad it was cubic zirconia THIRD PLACE The Sad Refusal, by Henry Cook, 15 February 2018 A foul old miner came callin' For a pretty young lady he was fallin' No said she You are smelly! So over the hills he went ballin' *** Untitled, by Kent McGrew, 19 April 2018 I started mining with my dad The results were never good In fact they were always bad If we worked like hell we made our beans Needless to say, we were both pretty lean Lunatic projects that were never pristine I lost my ass three times by the time I was nineteen. The Sleepy Metallurgist, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 April 2018 The metallurgist’s duty was to test But truthfully he’d much rather rest Napping on the job Left results in a glob His recovery forecast was far from best Upgrading Your Discovery, by Dave Wahl, 19 April 2018 If your ore needs to leach Proper testing is what you should preach And if rock in the column Yields gold in good volume You may get paid time off at the beach Down a Slippery Slope, by Dave Wahl, 19 April 2018 If you make the pit walls steep More rock goes on the heap But gravity can cut loose And you'll be cooked like a goose If you don't stop ground creep Ride the Slide, by Nicolette Taylor, 15 March 2018 If you operate a large open pit Know the ground where people and equipment sit When rock begins to shift Be prepared to move swift In the event of a slide, you won’t have to quit Down and Around to the Target, by Dave Wahl, 15 February 2018 If you're in the market for directed drilling But want value in the billing Have a good talk with Dave B. And he'll work up a fee That will get you back to chilling How Mines do Valentines, by Terry Lee and Nicolette Taylor, 15 February 2018 There’s no flowers or chocolates deep in the mine But our spirits are high and all is fine We’ve finished working the seam So our hearts and headlights beam Tis time to tag-out and toast St. Valentine Mine Power, by Allan Schappert, 18 January 2018 To run a mine we need power It comes to us in lines on a tower but this little mite will make it on site with enough left-over to head my shower Untitled, by David Bardsley, 18 January 2018 Another new year is here Things look good said a mining engineer The need for drilling is higher Many more rigs will be required So let's toast with a cold glass of beer Flu Season at the Mine, by Nicolette Taylor, 18 January 2018 A haul truck driver went to work with the flu. But then he vomited in the Komatsu. Sent home from the mine Until he felt fine, With no more nausea, he returned to his crew. Nantucket, by Dave Wahl, 16 November 2017 There was a young geo from Nantucket. Whose trick was to search the ore bucket. He said with a grin As he found only tin, If this lump was a diamond, I would pluck it. Development in Kosovo, by Nicolette Taylor, 16 November 2017 Kosovo is where the miners set their sight Slivovo was the object of their excite Ongoing exploration And technical narration Will bear gold and silver to reward their plight Waste is a Terrible Thing to Mine, by Allan Schappert, 19 October 2017 Florence Copper plans to mine with a pump. Well at least they won't have to haul to the dump. They'll just suck out the ore. And suck harder for more, And leave all the waste behind in one big lump. The Haunted Mine, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 October 2017 They all said the mine was haunted. "I'm not scared! one miner flaunted. Until one night in the adit, a ghost let him have it! He wet his diggers when spooked and taunted! A New Mine? by Dave Wahl, 21 September 2017 The detractors call it big pollution A sin with no chance of absolution But the faithful still work today And hope to make pay By opening the grand mine Resolution Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 21 September 2017 Arizona's known as the Copper State, As many of you can relate. Resolution's mine is quite a "whopper" And not much is going to stop her, Only those who want to liti...gate. Modern Copper Mining, by Dave Wahl, 18 May 2017 Copper mining in days of old Always meant digging some kind of big hole But now with weak acid injected And so precisely directed Dig-free copper is our to behold |
Thank you Ninyo & Moore for sponsoring our Limerick contest for the 2017-2018 season!
Here is a peek at the beautiful engraved leather notebooks and custom base metal writing pens that were awarded to our 2017–2018 contest winners!
2018–2019 Limericks
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2016–2017 Limericks |
2015–2016 Limericks |
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***SPRING 2017 WINNERS***
Thank you to Ninyo & Moore for sponsoring this season! FIRST PLACE A Miner's Mule, by Robert Livermore, 15 September 2016 My treasure's a mule in the mine, And I drive her with only one line. On the dashboard I sit And tobacco I spit, All over my sweetheart's behind!!! SECOND PLACE Graphene, by Dave Wahl, 17 November 2016 Life in the field can be mean You don't often live like a queen It's like digging a ditch And only a few strike it rich Will Stan's big bonanza be graphene? THIRD PLACE Untitled, by David Bardsley, 20 April 2017 Permitting a mine is a pain Most say the process is completely insane Local outreach is needed Sustainability issues should be heeded When successful you can pop the Champagne ***** Mining in the New Millennium, by Dave Wahl, 20 April 2017 Several millennial geos, so young and so bold Had making a mine their biggest life goal But soon stopped by permits They quit to be hermits And just let their fine project fold Yet Another Ode to Permitting, by Nicolette Taylor, 20 April 2017 The developer wanted to commit He was ready to start with his drill bit But there was no escape From the red tape He couldn’t touch ground without a permit Don't Miss the Cage, by Nicolette Taylor, 16 March 2017 Underground miners can never be late The man cage at site just doesn't wait If you miss it, go home You're no use on surface alone Next time be early for a better fate! Oh Patagonia, by Robert Livermore, 16 March 2017 The Patagonia District is where Westinghouse put his stamp, With mines like Bonanza, Dusquesne, and Washington Camp. Now the Hermosa Project is on the brink, Adding new ores like lead, silver, and zinc. The assays are looking most favorable, To create a mine that will be scalable. So after the drilling's all done- And they determine the amount of tonnes, Let's hope the permitting does favorable!! Is there a New Kid in Town? (with apologies to the Eagles), by Dave Whal, 16 March 2017 In Arizona most people think Its copper that buys us a drink But if the drills keep on churning and the investors stay yearning our new friend may be zinc Ode to a Missouri Miner, by David Bardsley, 16 March 2017 When founded it was the Missouri School of Mines Then the chancellors started loosing their spines They changed the name to UMR Then Missouri S&T, what for? They made it a school they couldn't define Green Beer, by David Bardsley, 16 March 2017 Tomorrow we celebrate St. Patrick Who chased the snakes from Ireland with a stick In his honor we drink green beer Raise a glass with good cheer and hope for an exploration uptick Leach Ore, by Dave Wahl, 16 February 2017 Finding soluble ore is a long reach It's something that most schools don't teach But joy will surely fade And you'll never get paid If that ore doesn't leach A Hope for 2017, by David Bardsley, 19 January 2017 Into the new-year we bring A different administration, not a new King In charge are fresh guys I hope they are wise So mining can have an upswing Oh, Lithium, by Mary Shewmaker, 19 January 2017 This alkali metal is shiny, With the low atomic number three. It floats atop oil Is difficult to boil And commonly found in batteries. Lithium Demand, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 January 2017 A lithium miner pumps a lot of brine And for electric cars that’s mighty-fine New deposits found Beneath the ground Means Tesla Execs can stay on cloud nine An Ode to Stanley B. Keith, by Dan Laux, 17 November 2016 While considered an industry whore His insights are never a bore Whether mantle versus crust Or the Maricopa Thrust His place is secure in GEO folklore The Hopeful Pauper, by Nicolette Taylor, 17 November 2016 Out in the desert there lived a pauper Until one day he discovered copper His dreams grew big Before even starting to dig He was seeing ore flow through the hopper! Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 20 October 2016 A prospector made a statement quite bold, "In them thar mountains is gold." However, he was not quite right, As it was only pyrite, And realized---all that glitters is not gold!!! Drones, by Dave Wahl, 20 October 2016 The investors sighed and let out a groan They had to cut costs to the bone With boots on the ground way expensive They had to get pensive So they went out and hired a drone Untitled, by David Bardsley, 20 October 2016 A miner used to work on his own Data he collected alone Now he can reach to the sky And he wonders why His boss didn't give him a drone General Election, by Nicolette Taylor, 20 October 2016 Trump claims our regulations are a disaster With fewer for mining, we would see money faster This election is touchy Both candidates are fussy But that narcissism won’t sway the broadcaster Ode to Copper Fox, by Nicolette Taylor, 15 September 2016 A clever fox went in search of treasure Copper exploration was his pleasure He followed a hound And found some good ground Now he has more ore than he can measure! Ode to a Directional Driller, by David Bardsley, 19 May 2016 We used to drill wells that were straight If we met plumbness specs, that was great We drill crooked wells now Everyone asks us how The answer - The bit slides it doesn't rotate. Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 19 May 2016 Some people say mining looks bleak, But we're all attracted to its mystique. Like finding a needle in hay, We search for the next great play While pounding our hammers on peaks!! Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 19 May 2016 A geologist name Bruno, Said there is one thing I do know. That copper is fine, And silver is divine, But gold is numero uno! |
***SPRING 2016 WINNER***
Untitled, by Bruce and Pat McKinstry, 15 October 2015 A geologist in search of uranium, Stumbled upon some titanium. He had to confess This caused him duress, And totally addled his cranium. ***** Announcing the Winner for this Season's Contest, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 May 2016 There's a miner poet here named Bruce Whose way with words is quite profuse Recite poems did he For entertainment of thee Alas! The grand prize he did produce! Owed to Bureaucracy, by Bruce McKinstry, 21 April 2017 A geologist on an exploration trip Made a beeline for the Arizona Strip He arrived and found to his dismay The desert invaded by the EPA So his adventure brought nothing but hardship Untitled, 21 April 2017 There once was a geologist named Tucker Who worked as a sample logger He dreamed of a life Being private with his wife As he tumbled downhill yelling mother f... Mother’s Day Reminder for Miners, 21 April 2017 One miner always forgot a special day. His Mother, quite scorned, wanted him to pay. All his gold she stole and spent. Didn’t leave him a single cent. Lesson—don’t forget your mother this May! Ode to an Irish Miner, by David Bardsley, 17 March 2017 There once was a miner from Limerick Who worked with a shovel and pick But on St. Patties Day He drank all his money away Wearing green and ending up sick St. Patrick's Day Mining Limericks, by Allan Schappert, 17 March 2017 There was a leprechaun who wanted to be a miner And truth be known, he was a wee bit of a whiner For when he was told He'd never find gold He dug for potatoes instead and opened his own diner It's St. Patrick's Day here at SME, 17 March 2017 But there's no corned beef or cabbage to see The chef is not Irish So if that was your wish I'll ask for your forgiveness on one knee St. Patrick's Day Mining Limerick, by Terry Lee, 17 March 2017 In Ireland the miners are few In church they fill only one pew It's not that they're crazy Or a single bit lazy Bu prefer sipping Tullamore Dew Investor Depressed No More: an Ode to External Relations Strategy, by Nicolette Taylor, 21 January 2016 There was a depressed mining investor Who took himself into dark sequester But a better social plan Freed his projects from their jam Alas! He could put down his Winchester Ode to a Miner’s Odyssey, by Tim Casten, 19 November 2015 A wannabe cousin Jack Ate pasties for a snack Worked on the Chunnel Worried it could be a funnel And decided to take a different tack A young miner was he Came over the sea In looking for ore He found so much more And started a new family tree From the UK to the US There was no duress But conditions were strange On the Carlin basin and range And in the winter, what a mess Then off to the depths of San Manuel Felt like one step closer to hell Going underground, there was no fear And then going to the Wildcat House and drinking some beer Life was swell and soon enough came the toll of a wedding bell Off to Indonesia, mining gold and copper Not easy to get to, often needed a chopper With new wife in tow There for five years or so And along came two kids, which was an eye popper! And then to the Big Easy they went Working on the engineering, design and vent Lived through Katrina Never seen anything meaner Complete destruction, seemed the intent And then to the valley of the sun For some more desert fun Mine engineering and design Trying to keep everything in line 25 years, like a half marathon! Untitled, by Dan Goudeau, 19 November 2015 De Beers will be jealous cried the geo You;ll see I'll soon be a hero But when the model arrived And our skills applied The project turned out a zero! Ambition for a Gem, by Nicolette Taylor, 19 November 2015 Born in June, Alexandrite is my stone. As Queen, I would wear it upon my throne. Wish I could own every mine. A monopoly is fine. Someday I will do this all on my own! Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 19 November 2015 As you know I was a Chairman here for a while, But I passed the reins down to Nyal. Though mining is down No longer the Boomtown, Let's hope it doesn't stay too immobile!! Ode to Lois, a Tramp Miner's Wife, by Nicolette Taylor, 15 October 2015 I know an old-timer miner named Mel, Who long ago wed an old-fashioned belle. She still packs lunch in his tin, Cuts his gray hair with a grin. Lucky is he to be treated so well. The Happily Retired Mule, by Nicolette Taylor, 17 September 2015 Down in a mine, a mule pulled a cart. Nobody thought this mule could be smart. He surprised the whole crew. With one hoof he drew, Rail haulage plans so state of the art! |
2011–2012 Limericks***Spring 2012 WINNER***
I Married a Miner, by Kris Laux, 19 April 2012 I married a miner Life couldn't be much finer But...I brought home the bacon While he went out stakin' Maps and data...data and maps I'd come home from work... What is all this crap So we struggled and saved and argued a bit While he worked in Miami in a big open pit But thank God for our IRA, copper, silver and gold And thank god for my husband thinking so bold So I finally retired...but he'll never quit Just ask him one day he'll have to admit His life is a vacation you'll have to agree If you have any questions ...just ask me Ode to a Mexican Blaster, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 19 April 2012 A Mexican blaster named Palafox Carried dynamite sticks in his lunch box. Once in a hurry to eat-o, He bit, he thought, a burrito. Blew Palafox right out of his sox. Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 16 February 2012 On this past Valentine's Day, To commemorate 25 years of marriage in some way. The prospector's devoted wife, Said "I would like a stone really hard and bright", So he gave her a large piece of kimberlite. Ode to a Shameless Promoter, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 16 February 2012
There once was a promoter named Carother, Who sold worthless stock like no other. When the mine turned out crappy. Still Carother remained happy, For he’d sold all his stock to his mother. Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 19 January 2012
There once was a man from Dundee, Who thought staking claims was free. Till he ran into an inspector, Who gently ejected ‘em, And charged him one heck of a fee. Ode to a Late Metallurgist, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 19 January 2012
An Indian metallurgist from Bangalore, Practices ore dressing no more. To his eternal woe, The glass marked H20, Alas, contained H2SO4! Untitled, by Wayne Fuller, 17 November 2011
You may think you don't like mining, But you'd better stop all that whining. With no metals nor coal, You might as well live in a hole. For the good things in life you'll be pining! Ode to a Realistic Miner, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 17 November 2011 Ode to a Realistic Miner Deep miners on the Witwatersrand Are not a particularly fearless band. For if the back falls on your head, You're certainly just as dead, At ten feet as at ten thousand! Rain Forest Ramp, by Bruce McKinstry, 20 October 2011
We drove a ramp in the rain forest, Through rock exceedingly porous. The river rushed in, The crew had to swim, Now pumping is all that's before us Ode to a Diligent Geologist, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 22 September 2011
Once a geologist bold, Explored a mine he’d been sold; After months of testing, Smelling, even tasting; Discovered the ore was guano, not gold. Untitled, by Tony Rice, 22 September 2011 There was a geologist named Dave Who dug himself a big cave He said what the hell I could drill an oil well But searching for gold's what I crave. |
2013–2014 Limericks
Ode to a Miner Laureate (A man of countless talents), by Dave Wahl, Spring 2013
There is a fine miner named Fred Working so wise and well read From the world's deepest hole To the northland so cold To keep his family well fed Ode to a Solar Advocate (you had to be there), by Dave Wahl, Spring 2013 There is an old miner named Doug Who commonly acts like a thug Despite being so bold He never finds gold And now he needs a big hug Ode to a Government Geologist (he really is here to help you), by Dave Wahl, Spring 2013 There was a young geo named Nyal Who kept all his rocks in a pile He scratched them for gold Until he grew old Now all we can do is just smile Ode to Godbe Drilling, by your Poet Laureate For good drilling a good driller is a must. Good machines without a spot of rust. Drill holes straight and true, With good core recovery too. Miners who know all say “in Godbe trust”! Untitled, by Vivian Merrell I met a man at a local diner, Who said he wanted to be a miner, Why would you want to do that? Your so darn fat, You’d be beter off as a Shriner. Ode to a Poor Driller, by David Bardsley I used to drill for silver and gold, But exploration suddenly went cold. So I tried something new, Drilling in waste – PU! But at least it keeps my rig bankrolled. Where Are Those Good Ol’ Days?, by John Mastor I knew of a geo from Manila, Whose deposit was really a thriller! Not gold as we thought it, It turned out to be salted. These 43-101 rules are a killer! In Borneo the core looked great, no pretext. The stock soared, how could it get complex? 70 million ounces; that’s right! Nothing there; not even pyrite! Now we jump through hoops thanks to Bre-X. Now-a-days there must be a Qualified Person Them good old days – they’ve started to worsen. Everything in the open – sweet as honey! Investors confident – to give us their money. Those great old days, wish I and another – just one Untitled, by David Bardsley , 17 October 2013 A miner from Phoenix was told, In the Superstitions there was lots of gold. For the Lost Dutchman he did look, But he should have read a book, For the Dutchman was a lie that was bold. The Rock Chick, by Ena Wilson A chick with a pick went a hounding, To find some cool rocks don’ you know, But the pick it was dulled, And the chick was appalled, No rocks she was sadly a founding. Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 21 November 2013 There once was a man from Dundee, Who thought staking claims was free. Till he was tracked down by the BLM, Which immediately rejected them, Then charged him one heck of a fee! Ode to My Alma Matter, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost) 19 September 2013 I went to Missouri School of Mines, To learn about mine and mill designs. But I learned about whiskey, And mixed drinks quite risky, Plus beer and fine Missouri moonshines. Ode to an Optimistic Miner, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 17 October 2013 The ore shipped was guaranteed high grade. The owner knew a fortune would be made. But the result wasn’t funny, He owed the smelter money, When freight, fees and deductions were paid! Ode to Employment Alternatives, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 21 November 2013 Joe, an underground geologist, Lamented adventures he’d missed. “Sampling mines is OK for me, But what I really yearn to be, Is a colorectal proctologist!” Ode to Permitting, by your Poet Laureate (with a tip of the poets hardhat to Rosemont Mining), 16 January 2014 The mine needed a complex permit. Regulatory demands just wouldn’t quit. The owner gave them a lot, And said, “that’s all I’ve got”. “You’ve got enough paper to fill the pit.” Ode to a hopeful prospector, by your Poet Laureate (Fred Brost), 20 February 2014 There was an old prospector named Clyde Who found a gold vein up near Chloride The ore assayed high grade, Clyde knew he had it made, But the vein was just two inches wide. Ode to a Modeler, by Allan Schappert The hillside glittered like gold, But it’s only pyrite he was told. He went for the kill, And brought in a drill, In the hopes that the claims could be sold. Now the buyer was really quite smart, He found a modeler to perform his art. Looking at the data he found, That the rocks underground Weren’t worth a popcorn fart! So there’s a lesson to be learned, When there’s money to be lost or earned. You gotta look at the data, To see what could be the matta, Until all your assumptions are confirmed! Untitled, by Trish Fairchild There was a blind geologist named Dick, Who could name any rock with a single lick. One day in the field his tongue got stuck. Everyone said he was shit out of luck, For licking the wrong end of his pick! Untitled, by David Bardsley, 20 February 2014 My ancestors were miners from Wales Who sailed to America through gales. They came to mine coal, But even though that was their goal, They ended up drinking pale ale. Top Secret Travelin’ Hammer, by Ena Lynne Wilson I have a rock hammer, will travel – To locales most secret and dear. I’ll swing with a clang! My hammer goes bang! (But only when no one is near.) The Gal from Morenci, by Ena Lynne Wilson There once was a gal from Morenci. Her tamales were served with an egg. The dudes at the mine, All thought she was fine, Specially a feller named Craig! Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 20 February 2014 There once was a geologist down in OZ, Who saw a feature that made him pause. A brecciated fault neither normal nor reverse, And so complex that it made him curse, So he never figured out what it was! Untitled, by Robert Livermore, 20 March 2014 There once was a mining engineer named Fred, Who quoted poets – mostly now dead. His repertoire is diverse, Containing nothing perverse, But he has a fetish with large ore beds. So-called License? By John Mastor, 20 March 2014 A new mine called Rosemont Experienced crew, not debutant. Some locals taking issue, With grief, angst and tissue. Many petty complaints, do Augusta haunt! A New Suitor, by John Mastor, 20 March 2014 A mine near Tucson, south a way, May have new owners they say – Eh? They propose a payout, For investors a way out, Have sunscreen those from HudBay? Left Behind, by John Mastor, 20 March 2014 Florence Copper is in a good space, Leave the rock, mine not a trace. With solution mild as vinegar, Jobs – n – dollars make it a win-agar. Florence: it’s yours after mending the place. Deep Mines, by John Mastor, 20 March 2014 A deep mine named Resolution, Proposes for its solution, Their land-hold superior, The Park acres inferior. A Congressional Act, the only resolution |